Smoking thumb pus

January 18, 2009

It’s now 7 weeks since I last smoked a cigarette.

Some good has come of it: A work colleague pointed out that my skin is clearer and that I no longer constantly hack up phlegm in conversation. I no longer whine: “I feel faint,” every 20 minutes.

Some bad has come of it: The nervous energy I expended smoking has not found a happy destination. I am constantly grinding my teeth in my sleep and I wake up with an aching jaw. I’ve also noticed that I am biting my fingers more. I’ve always nervously nibbled at my extremities, but since I’ve forsaken the fags, it’s gotten much worse. I don’t even notice I’m doing it, but over the last 10 days the thumb on my right hand has gotten redder and redder as I’ve gnawed through layers of skin. This morning I woke up to find it gently throbbing and that the skin had turned a glazed, translucent white. I hopped to the bathroom for a closer look. It looked bad. I squeezed my thumb and a large, pearly ball of pus popped out. It sat there on my thumb, like an off-white golf ball. I called over my girlfriend to inspect it, but she recoiled in horror. It was very impressive, and as a pussoiseur I was almost tempted to take a photo – but decided that discretion was the better part of valour. I washed it down, slathered my hand in Savlon and applied a plaster to the gaping maw of thumbflesh.

I really do have to find a healthier way of expending my nervous energy.


One comment

  1. Smoking Thumb Pus were one of the less successful experimental bands of the seventies if memory serves.

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