Before Friday, I’d never been to Essex before.
Before Friday, I’d never had my phone stolen.
The two statements are probably linked.
Friday after work I met up with Muthamma, the radio host from Phoenix FM, at Liverpool Street and we got the train to Brentwood to record the show. I used my phone on the train (probably around Romford, fact fans). We went from the train into a cab to the radio studios. When I got out of the cab, I realised my phone was gone. Maybe it fell out of my pocket (this is unlikely) or maybe it was stolen. By a twat. From Essex.
In a fit of grief and despair, I got Muthamma to call my number. Someone answered, then immediately hung up. That didn’t automatically mean it was stolen – I could have left the phone on the train and some curious stranger could have tried to answer it, but gotten confused by the strange buttons and accidentally hung up. But that’s unlikely. Most likely, it had already been dropped into a large bag labelled SWAG by a villain wearing a ski-mask.
I phoned T-mobile and cancelled the sim card. Then I swore a lot. Then I did that thing where you scream a lot, but it’s silent and you look like a freak. I was very, very angry. I’ve owned mobile phones for about 10 years now and I’ve taken good care of them all. I’ve never lost one, never had one stolen, never dropped one in the loo and never smashed one against a wall. All my phones have been dirt-cheap, crappo phones. Except for the one that I had until Friday, which was actually quite good. Bastards. Right now, it doesn’t seem that important – it’s only a phone – but at the time I was furious and consumed with a sense of confusion and alarm. How tenuous is my grasp on sanity that a missing mobile phone drives me into depths of depression?
I managed to get a replacement sim card on Saturday morning, and I’m using a crappy old Nokia that doesn’t even have a camera. I think my girlfriend is secretly quite pleased that I’m no longer taking photos of everything that wanders into my line of sight. In the meantime, she’s bought a swish new Skype phone. So it goes.
Incidentally, the interview was fun. Muthamma is going to send me an mp3 of it, and I’ll bung it on here at some point.